The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea

It is funny to me that people enjoy or like or simply just tolerate my writing enough that they continue to read it. I'm mostly just a normal girl who likes to exaggerate things to make them funny and who from time to time can be rather witty. My friend definietly nailed it when she said my last post was like having a conversation with me. It's true and its a compliment because a lot of time my conversations are far crazier...please see spider conversations two posts ago. Those are sincere and honest conversations as they happened. I want to thank anyone who reads or continues to read the thoughts that I am able to put to paper. I'm a terrible speller and not that great of a writer...unless it's investigative reports or legal findings...now those I could write All. Day. Long. In my sleep even. Either way, thank you. 

I have a French phone number!!! So weird. I will also be considered a resident once I attend a meeting at some official office within the next three months. I guess if it hadn't felt real till now, these things should confirm it. 

Friday night before Paris was apparently revenge of the spiders. I've killed one giant one, a baby one on my desk and a baby one on my face/mouth. (Update: since writing this I have had two more giant spiders join me for the evening. I will no longer write about them because now I'm just pissed)

It is interesting standing waiting for the train to Paris. I'm excited because it's Paris and hello but at the same time I live here now...I can go to Paris whenever I want. That a a ton of other amazing cities within this country. 

Paris was beautiful. I mean breath taking. the architecture and history are amazing. I can't even begin to put it into words. But it's a busy tourist city like many others. I wasn't overly impressed with that part. We went during a sort of celebration and they open up different places for people to visit, ones that are not normally open to the public. We went to the Picasso museum which was totally disappointing because none of his art was there. We also went to the city hall. I have to say I am so so jealous of the people who get to work there. The building was stunning. Everything about it was stunning. That is where a majority of the pictures below came from. We also got to see the mayor's office. She has a view of Notre Dame out her office window! It was amazing. We had lunch and walked the Champs-Élysées. We saw the Arc de Triomphe, the presidents house, the Eiffel Tower from afar and some other sites. I spent my first money since I've been here. We sat at a cafe had two cokes, a bottle of water and sorbet which cost 30 euros. The entire thing was great. I also attempted to understand the train and metro system which is totally nuts. Below are the pictures I took of that day! I found several stores that we also have in America in Paris...gap, H&M, sephora. All things that can easily get me through my time here. I also found out about a store called BHV I think? It's like a department store here that sells everything apparently. While in Paris we also went by the Louve and saw the church where Tony Parker married Eva Longoria and saw the fountain where Andy throws her cell phone at the end of The Devil Wears Prada. Ps there are pics of all these below. I also found out am artist that has always impressed and intrigued me will be having an exhibit in Paris. Hokusai is the last name of a Japanese artist who I think is so impressive. I'll go back sometime this fall to check that out.

I'm still in school. Nothing much has happened as of recently. I am going to the next town over this weekend to study, wait till I post those pics. That town is beautiful as well. My mother sent me a package is was so appreciated. The children are much the same. The little one hates me, the big one is a smartass. But what can you do? Somethings also really suck...like missing time with my family. I've now missed my brother and dads birthdays, but this is just part of this process. I still am I'm such appreciation of how I can keep in touch with everyone so much. I guess this is it for now. I will make an effort to write another post sooner this time.

Go big or go home.

Apparently by demand I write blog posts...so here ya go! It's getting harder and harder to write because like I said before I write over several days. Well as it happens my feelings and emotions can change very quickly so while I felt like I wrote below that was on Monday and things have happened and feelings happened since Monday. Since then I have actually attended a class, gotten extremely sick, eaten more food, drank more wine, let my problems in and spent more time with the children. I'll let this play out in chronological order...sooo welcome to Monday...

So. I just got kicked out of class. Essentially because my speaking French is for shit although I can understand almost everything the teacher said. I now have to wait till 5 when my mom gets off to go home. Its currently 2pm. It's actually not too bad because the city where I am is gorgeous and I am currently sitting in the gardens of a castle. Not too bad. I have a book and my iPod and snacks! I will walk around later and take some pictures of the town. It is more what I imagine when I think France. Also you can check my instagram or Twitter for some pictures I take when I am out.

Today is the first day I felt a little out of place. Not knowing the language is one thing but literally getting told you belong elsewhere kind of sucks. Ohhh well. Sitting on the bench in this garden and looking at the breath taking scenery I feel a sort of peace. It doesn't matter what is really going on in my head or how I feel about anything I know that this was the best possible choice for me. I know that no matter what my friends that are important will be there when I get back and that my family will never leave me cause, well, that would be impossible cause I'm awesome.

I guess maybe I wasn't totally clear on what I'm even doing here so let me take a second...I'm a type of nanny for two little boys. One is 5 and the other is 2. I really don't want to use their names as I said previously so lets just call them G and E respectively. I take care of them at lunch and in the afternoon. It's fun most of the time and exhausting. Little boys...I can't. I only want girls! Sorry to all my friends that have boys...Haha. It's interesting to see how much they already love each other and depend on each other at a young age. I don't remember that as a kid, I remember it much more when me and my siblings were older. And honestly I don't even know where I would be without either of them. I know they think the same thing...and I love them for that.

Below are some pictures of the town, Fontainebleau, I spent all day in. This post is sappy more than anything but...clarity is a real bitch and a blessing.

The rest of the week has been semi-interesting. The weather was nicer till Wednesday. It was hot as usual. I have yet to do laundry which is NOT good because I'm running out of clean clothes!!! And to make matters worse they don't have a dryer. Wednesday I also had a bit of breakdown; but I cried like a girl for 10 minutes and got the fuck over that for now. This week I have actually been homesick. I haven't been here long and I have a while to go so thats a little scary...

School sucks. So much. It's very hard. I don't even know where to start studying it practicing. There are currently three others in my class two Canadians and one American. It's kind of nice to be able to actually speak to other people and have them understand you. Tuesday night after school I started feeling crappy and now I'm full blown sick. I don't remember the last time I was sick so I'm not sure if it's one of those things like day care...like I'm hanging around dirty snotty kids so I'm now dying... Or if it was just time. Either way it sucks.

I miss American food. So so much. Chipotle...and sandwhiches. I have yet to have a sandwhich here and it's killing me. I can eat sandwhiches for every meal of the day...And now I haven't had one. And sweet tea...my best friend. I have not had that since I've been here either. I've had coke a few times which is kind of great and feels normalish. I also miss breakfast. Big fattening breakfasts full of bacon and eggs, omlets, oatmeal...ahh so sad. I've eaten so much cheese here. Like so. Much. Cheese. I love cheese, don't get me wrong but I'm starting to wonder if that is contributing to me not losing weight. I eat less than half of what I was eating at home and so you would think...science...weight loss; but I think between the cheese, wine and bread...I'm screwed. So much bread. Like from the movies. You walk in, aak for 5 bagguettes and walk around with them in the open. Bread for days.

The one thing currently keeping my sanity is American tv. Now that all the shows are starting again I get to watch those. Those feel normal. Not only that but what I hope will turn into weekly sports updates from my bestest. Its sad because I don't care so much about sports these days and it kind of all makes me sad and nostalgic BUT having super long super late sports updates feels 1. Normal and 2. Slowly making me come back around to sports. And don't worry my lovelys I have plenty of stuff here to rep not only my noles but my tigers too!

Omg!!!!!! I totally forgot I had another spider incident!!!! I'm honestly not sure which spider gate is worse. This time I was on my bed minding my own business watching tv...And I saw something crawling on my nose. I screamed and tried to grab it off my face. Apparently this caused the spider to go in my effing mouth!!!! At which point I sat up and spit on my floor. A 27 year old literally spit spit on the floor. I would say I've reached a new low but...I think I've done worse. Now I can't find the spider and I'm freaking out and I see a big flying bug that kind of looks like a spider so I kill that and feel better about my life cause that was totally the bug. Or that's what I've convinced myself of. Then I feel something in my mouth so I stick my entire hand in my mouth and there is a spider...

I hate France because they have more disgusting spiders than any place I've lived before... I can't handle it. This week's bigger issue, however, is how to dry my laundry in a house that isn't mine. It doesn't exactly seem appropriate to hang all my barely there under wear/naughty bits/skivvies or whatever the hell you wanna call them all over the basement. Not only that but how to avoid wrinkles? Line drying is complicated but from what I can tell it's very common here. Of course that couldn't be the end of that but the washer is so small!!! It takes like half of a normal load compared to washers I am use to. 

I think I'm good right now. Enough at this point and hopefully this assuaged Jack. (Hahaha) This weekend is Paris. I think we are going to visit the city hall and the Picasso museum. I am quite excited. I am sure I will post pictures and have plenty to write.

Peace for now bitches!

Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can't lose.

Ah, a Friday Night Lights quote. An amazing one and if you've seen the series you know it's a meaningful one...

Someone I once knew said they wished children came out at 2 years old so they were talking and walking I always disagreed. I thought cute little babies were always way way better. I always thought this argument worked given the situation...but...C'est dommage. After a week here and my first week of "work" I will stick by my opinion 150%...

I have a hard time imagining having my own children. Not only because I feel far from that point in my life but also because I know what a-holes my siblings and I are and let's be honest, it scares the shit out of me. What my poor parents put up with even now that we are all "adults"...sorry mom and dad!!!! When you are living with people and helping with their children, it's awkward. There is a line you try not to cross when they are around and you are still working; but at the same time you have to establish yourself in the children's eyes and just help in general. It is always interesting because as a parent you have to give up some control and some time with your children in this situation. I'm supposed to be with them when their mom gets home but...she's a great mom and wants to spend the time with her kids which only makes sense. It seems to be a perfect balance we are striving for and hopefully we get there before my time here is up...because so far I can't decide if I am over stepping or not stepping enough and I can't tell if the parents are not pleased with me this far...although I don't doubt that they would just tell me.

This week was a ton of firsts. The weather starting on Wednesday was amazing!!! I've kept my window open and I've worn sweaters. One of the best things is being able to throw on some skinny jeans, a v-neck tee, or a boyfriend cardigan and converse. I need to invest in some new colors of converse, that's for sure. I also went to the grocery store! Surprisingly, to me anyway, they have of the same brands we do. Special K, Pepperidge Farm...but then they have...different things...like phesant eggs, and whole fish sitting outside of the case... whole fish. They do lack conditioner...and my hair is really really sad about this. I also went to one of the world's best graduate schools. It's called INSAED. It's a business graduate school. Being back on campus and seeing young adults being in the whole thing was kind of great...gave me some ideas. Also French champagne number one in the books...and I have to say it was really good. I felt fuzzy hands and feet after the first glass. I also found this amazingly beautiful city or town right next to the town where I live, Moret Sur Loing. Next week I plan to start running again and running to this town might be a good idea. Either way I'm going to get over there and take some pictures to post.

I have had to complete tons of paperwork for insurance and my visa. After the visa paperwork goes through and I go to an appointment I will be considered a resident!!! A resident of France...WHAT?!?!

I was really hoping that I would not be driving for a year. I actually was so excited about that exceptill not be the case and honestly I'm a littler scared. Driving in France is like driving in LA with less traffic and way smaller streets. People are crazy!! There are not as many street signs as in America and you have to constantly pull off the road, I'm nervous. I have to admit it.

School starts on Monday and I'm in the intermediate class which is totally nuts. I understand like 80% of what is said but my speaking and writing is total garbage. I'm going to study tomorrow and pray I can fake it at least a little bit. While on the topic of languages...one of the coolest things im doing is teaching the oldest kid English. Granted most of it is basic but to hear him repeat it and see it in his face that he gets it, is a great feeling.

Several FYI's before I end or get to the end of yet another not too exciting and not very funny post...1. I don't intend on putting up many pics of the families personal lives or the children. Just because I am an idiot and putting my life on the internet doesn't mean they want it...and so don't expect that. 2. I usually write these posts over a few days because different things happen and I want to remember things and don't have the time to write a whole post so last night I thought I was kind of done...until one of the worst things ever happened. I have included some screen shot conversations of the incident because I think they describe way way better "the incident" than what I can recount right now. Finish reading below and check out the convos...Also please be advised there should be like a parental warning on the screen shots...for mature language?

It's strange. I feel like I've been here a while...but I haven't. My future now seems extremely scary and a little exciting. My life was always one way for so long and the expectation was for that to continue. I saw my life wrapped in a box. Maybe not with a neat little bow but wrapped in a box that I enjoyed..but now it's wide open. I can't even imagine being here a year and I definitely can't imagine anytime beyond that. I'm not sure if it's a sort of liberation I feel or I'm just totally shitting my pants. I am still looking forward to all of what's to come and every day things get a little bit better...slowly but surely...

Strength doesn't come from what you can do, it comes from overcoming what you once thought you couldn't

Holy shit. I live in France. While life is not perfect, things could be way worse.

My flights over here were all fine. I had to hit customs in Iceland and I have to say, fellas, if you're interested in which airlines have the most beautiful women...Iceland Air. Everyone was so beautiful and mostly blonde. I was quite surprised. Plus even the non-blondes were just as attractive. There was one situation...of course in the good ol U.S.of A, when 3 very very sexy NYPD officers boarded our plane to escort some drunk girl off the plane. It was only 5pm!!! Anyway it wasn't so bad since the eye candy was so satisfying.

Moving right along. I AM IN FRANCE! My family keeps asking all the same questions so I'll answer those and I've decided to make some lists...you'll see.

1. Yes I have my own room and bathroom. In France a bathroom does not contain a toilette but I also have one of those outside of my room. My room has a closet, a desk, and a nightstand. Pretty standard situation. Some pictures are below.
2. The house is nice. Small, but that seems to be the norm. It's quite cute and pretty French looking. They have a large garden, which is a backyard, with a pool.
3. The family is beyond nice and accommodating, I think I really lucked out. They don't except me to be a servant and they treat me great.
4. The kids are adorable. Not warming up to me yet but it will take time. The older one is more reserved and listens better while the younger one is so high energy and constantly pushing the boundaries.
5. The town is small but La Seine runs through it. It's absolutely amazing. La Seine is a large river that runs through France and Paris. I can't wait to run it. (Sidenote for those of you that know me know I was never a runner, but I got a great coach in Raechel and I'm murdering my run game) And let's be honest...it can't get too much better than running in France.

So that's the basics. I have learned several other things since being here...And thus you have list un (one):

1. French people sometimes smell in a way that Americans are not use to...this is a fact, one I have experienced already.
2. French wine is amazing, and thus far a requirment at every dinner. I can't complain but I will have to get use to it.
3. I have yet to see a hairy French woman which is also a positive.
4. No air conditioning. It's hot. The evenings are amazing but the day...is so...hot.
5. The most intimidating part about living in another country is the language. I can understand French quite well...but my speaking French is nearly worthless except to spew random words and simple phrases like "my name is."
6. Ecole...or school here is strange. They have lunches off...don't go on Wednesdays and go to school 6 weeks and then are off for two for the entire year.
7. We eat salad AFTER the meal. Quite interesting.

List deux (two...counting in French is actually something I CAN do) the things that are getting me through life and my short time in France and what I'm excited for:

1. My family. Who I get to talk to all the time thanks to the internet. They weren't happy with my decision but I couldn't do it without them.
2. My friends. Holy Moly they are the best. Not only getting to talk to them, getting packages but even getting some awesome emails which include this awesome video... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6Wr8Zg-79w&sns=em
3. Going to school. I hate school. I hated my recent stint in grad school but...learning the language will be soo helpful and also I'll be able to make some friends!!!
4. Upcoming first Paris trip with someone who actually knows what's going on! Haha. September 21 is the date.
5. Trips! Not only free trips paid for by my current family but also the trips for myself...currently I'm thinking Lisbon Portugal, Italy...too many places to pick one!!, hopefully Germany to see someone I know and Spain to see another friend.

In conclusion, this has been hard. I haven't been here long and I have been through so many emotions. All I know is that no matter what I will learn something from this. Hopefully about myself.

Now anyone who has known me for any extended period of time knows I don't share my feelings and I don't let people in; normally because they end up stabbing you in the back or breaking your heart or when you are real lucky a combination of the two! Word vomting my current world all over the internet isn't easy...but really life's not easy. The choices we make aren't easy. It would be pointless to half ass this experience. I don't think I know everything and God knows I have so much to learn but maybe someone else can take something from all my bullshit.