Go big or go home.

Apparently by demand I write blog posts...so here ya go! It's getting harder and harder to write because like I said before I write over several days. Well as it happens my feelings and emotions can change very quickly so while I felt like I wrote below that was on Monday and things have happened and feelings happened since Monday. Since then I have actually attended a class, gotten extremely sick, eaten more food, drank more wine, let my problems in and spent more time with the children. I'll let this play out in chronological order...sooo welcome to Monday...

So. I just got kicked out of class. Essentially because my speaking French is for shit although I can understand almost everything the teacher said. I now have to wait till 5 when my mom gets off to go home. Its currently 2pm. It's actually not too bad because the city where I am is gorgeous and I am currently sitting in the gardens of a castle. Not too bad. I have a book and my iPod and snacks! I will walk around later and take some pictures of the town. It is more what I imagine when I think France. Also you can check my instagram or Twitter for some pictures I take when I am out.

Today is the first day I felt a little out of place. Not knowing the language is one thing but literally getting told you belong elsewhere kind of sucks. Ohhh well. Sitting on the bench in this garden and looking at the breath taking scenery I feel a sort of peace. It doesn't matter what is really going on in my head or how I feel about anything I know that this was the best possible choice for me. I know that no matter what my friends that are important will be there when I get back and that my family will never leave me cause, well, that would be impossible cause I'm awesome.

I guess maybe I wasn't totally clear on what I'm even doing here so let me take a second...I'm a type of nanny for two little boys. One is 5 and the other is 2. I really don't want to use their names as I said previously so lets just call them G and E respectively. I take care of them at lunch and in the afternoon. It's fun most of the time and exhausting. Little boys...I can't. I only want girls! Sorry to all my friends that have boys...Haha. It's interesting to see how much they already love each other and depend on each other at a young age. I don't remember that as a kid, I remember it much more when me and my siblings were older. And honestly I don't even know where I would be without either of them. I know they think the same thing...and I love them for that.

Below are some pictures of the town, Fontainebleau, I spent all day in. This post is sappy more than anything but...clarity is a real bitch and a blessing.

The rest of the week has been semi-interesting. The weather was nicer till Wednesday. It was hot as usual. I have yet to do laundry which is NOT good because I'm running out of clean clothes!!! And to make matters worse they don't have a dryer. Wednesday I also had a bit of breakdown; but I cried like a girl for 10 minutes and got the fuck over that for now. This week I have actually been homesick. I haven't been here long and I have a while to go so thats a little scary...

School sucks. So much. It's very hard. I don't even know where to start studying it practicing. There are currently three others in my class two Canadians and one American. It's kind of nice to be able to actually speak to other people and have them understand you. Tuesday night after school I started feeling crappy and now I'm full blown sick. I don't remember the last time I was sick so I'm not sure if it's one of those things like day care...like I'm hanging around dirty snotty kids so I'm now dying... Or if it was just time. Either way it sucks.

I miss American food. So so much. Chipotle...and sandwhiches. I have yet to have a sandwhich here and it's killing me. I can eat sandwhiches for every meal of the day...And now I haven't had one. And sweet tea...my best friend. I have not had that since I've been here either. I've had coke a few times which is kind of great and feels normalish. I also miss breakfast. Big fattening breakfasts full of bacon and eggs, omlets, oatmeal...ahh so sad. I've eaten so much cheese here. Like so. Much. Cheese. I love cheese, don't get me wrong but I'm starting to wonder if that is contributing to me not losing weight. I eat less than half of what I was eating at home and so you would think...science...weight loss; but I think between the cheese, wine and bread...I'm screwed. So much bread. Like from the movies. You walk in, aak for 5 bagguettes and walk around with them in the open. Bread for days.

The one thing currently keeping my sanity is American tv. Now that all the shows are starting again I get to watch those. Those feel normal. Not only that but what I hope will turn into weekly sports updates from my bestest. Its sad because I don't care so much about sports these days and it kind of all makes me sad and nostalgic BUT having super long super late sports updates feels 1. Normal and 2. Slowly making me come back around to sports. And don't worry my lovelys I have plenty of stuff here to rep not only my noles but my tigers too!

Omg!!!!!! I totally forgot I had another spider incident!!!! I'm honestly not sure which spider gate is worse. This time I was on my bed minding my own business watching tv...And I saw something crawling on my nose. I screamed and tried to grab it off my face. Apparently this caused the spider to go in my effing mouth!!!! At which point I sat up and spit on my floor. A 27 year old literally spit spit on the floor. I would say I've reached a new low but...I think I've done worse. Now I can't find the spider and I'm freaking out and I see a big flying bug that kind of looks like a spider so I kill that and feel better about my life cause that was totally the bug. Or that's what I've convinced myself of. Then I feel something in my mouth so I stick my entire hand in my mouth and there is a spider...

I hate France because they have more disgusting spiders than any place I've lived before... I can't handle it. This week's bigger issue, however, is how to dry my laundry in a house that isn't mine. It doesn't exactly seem appropriate to hang all my barely there under wear/naughty bits/skivvies or whatever the hell you wanna call them all over the basement. Not only that but how to avoid wrinkles? Line drying is complicated but from what I can tell it's very common here. Of course that couldn't be the end of that but the washer is so small!!! It takes like half of a normal load compared to washers I am use to. 

I think I'm good right now. Enough at this point and hopefully this assuaged Jack. (Hahaha) This weekend is Paris. I think we are going to visit the city hall and the Picasso museum. I am quite excited. I am sure I will post pictures and have plenty to write.

Peace for now bitches!